Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
