was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
