Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
