Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize