The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Someone came in the potted fern
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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