It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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