She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
