I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
