I heard we made out
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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