Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
