How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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