Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
