There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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