im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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