I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
