I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize