In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
did you just send me my own nude
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
