can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
