i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
And then he peed in my hair
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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