people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
