Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
