We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
