I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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