Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
