even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
