'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize