I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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