I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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