Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
