3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you remember whose house we're in?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
