ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
