Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
