i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
