she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
