I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
