I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
