he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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