this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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