I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
