I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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