so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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