i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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