Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
