i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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