We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize