Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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