I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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