haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
