you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
