But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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