I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize