I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
