were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Randomize