Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
