Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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